Beth Smith

What Do I Believe About Myself

I hired a coach. I asked a few weeks ago on Instagram if anyone knew a good business coach because i felt stuck and needed some help to move forward in organizing and growing my business. Dan Mason was one of the people recommended to me and after we had a 45 minute call to see if we were a good fit i hired him for 3 months to work with me.

I’m telling you this because of what I’m writing about today which is a little out of character for my blog but it fits here.

Dan is way more than a business coach. Before speaking with Dan I was expecting a coach to help me set up systems and habits and routines. This is different because we are beginning with mindset and beliefs which, believe me, is way harder and full of emotion. This week Dan gave me some writing assignments.

What do I believe about God?

What do I believe about myself?

What do I believe about money/my business?

Write about my business and what I want to make of it.

The first one I did a couple of days ago and I put it on my other blog. If you want you can check it out at Always Choose Charity. Honestly I wasn;t going to make any of this public but things happen and then things change so here we are. Today i’m writing right here about What I believe about myself because a thing happened yesterday that shook me a little.

In case you are wondering which picture, it’s this one.

I had a comment on one of my posts. The photo on the post was a picture of me all in pink feeling joyful. You can see it on my face. I’m at Disney World which, as you know, I love. Someone I don’t know commented on that picture, “Fat, ugly, disgusting.” I’m not going to talk about that person or why she felt the need to do that. I did go to bed last night very upset and sad and thinking that maybe I need models or something right now so I don’t have to show myself. When I woke up this morning I was still sad but then I thought about this writing assignment and how it’s amazing how things fall into place. I got this assignment and planned on doing it but this experience is really making me go a little deeper about what I believe about myself than I might have if I hadn;t seen that comment.

So here we go. Please remember to be kind and also that this is about me and how I feel about me.

I believe that I am smart. I believe that I am talented when it comes to textiles and hand work. I believe that God has blessed me in that way for a reason and that I want to use it to bless other people. I love to sew for other people and help them to feel beautiful and attractive and confident regardless of their body shape or size. I think clothes have power and I have a talent with fabric and thread that can help women claim their space.

I currently believe that I sometimes don’t deserve the praise that I get because some of this comes easy for me but isn’t that ridiculous? It comes easy to me because of all of the hours I have spent practicing and working hard to develop these skills and so I need to stop hanging my head and diminishing myself. I need to stop making jokes about the books I’ve written and learn to say thank you in a confident way when people tell me how much they love the work I am doing and have done.

I have been weighing around 200 pounds for at least 20 years now. I would love to lose some of this weight but this is my current body and I will take care of it the best I can. I have felt ashamed and tried to hide my body in different ways. When I look at previous photos of myself in those oversized clothes I don’t love what I see. I do love my body in a high waisted skirt with a fitted top. That silhouette makes me feel pretty and comfortable and confident. I don’t avoid the camera anymore because I have found a style that works for me and I believe that I can help other women who may not feel confident in their body right now to find a way to dress so that they don’t feel like they have to hide.

all the kids

I have 4 grown children – well one is a senior in high school – but all are successful and self reliant. That is a huge accomplishment. Of course I am not a perfect mother but we all love each other and get along which is amazing and awesome. I did that along with the help of my darling who has been my stabalizer at ttimes and my voice of reason at other times and my best friend all of the time. I am proud of my family and the families that they are now growing.

I have built a thriving business before and I can certainly do it again except this time I am going to be less nervous about it. I believe in myself. And honestly, one small angry woman on the internet should not be able to take away from me the hundreds of you who are loving what I do in my business to bring joy and smiles to women through a bit of draped fabric and thread.

It has taken me 56 years to get here but I’m willing to say today that I am good. I am talented. I am successful. I am loved by God and plenty of people. I can do this with kindness and love and good will toward people.

That feels good. I feel good.

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