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What Do I Believe About Myself

20191026_113022
20191026_113022

I hired a coach. I asked a few weeks ago on Instagram if anyone knew a good business coach because i felt stuck and needed some help to move forward in organizing and growing my business. Dan Mason was one of the people recommended to me and after we had a 45 minute call to see if we were a good fit i hired him for 3 months to work with me.

I’m telling you this because of what I’m writing about today which is a little out of character for my blog but it fits here.

Dan is way more than a business coach. Before speaking with Dan I was expecting a coach to help me set up systems and habits and routines. This is different because we are beginning with mindset and beliefs which, believe me, is way harder and full of emotion. This week Dan gave me some writing assignments.

What do I believe about God?

What do I believe about myself?

What do I believe about money/my business?

Write about my business and what I want to make of it.

The first one I did a couple of days ago and I put it on my other blog. If you want you can check it out at Always Choose Charity. Honestly I wasn;t going to make any of this public but things happen and then things change so here we are. Today i’m writing right here about What I believe about myself because a thing happened yesterday that shook me a little.

In case you are wondering which picture, it’s this one.

I had a comment on one of my posts. The photo on the post was a picture of me all in pink feeling joyful. You can see it on my face. I’m at Disney World which, as you know, I love. Someone I don’t know commented on that picture, “Fat, ugly, disgusting.” I’m not going to talk about that person or why she felt the need to do that. I did go to bed last night very upset and sad and thinking that maybe I need models or something right now so I don’t have to show myself. When I woke up this morning I was still sad but then I thought about this writing assignment and how it’s amazing how things fall into place. I got this assignment and planned on doing it but this experience is really making me go a little deeper about what I believe about myself than I might have if I hadn;t seen that comment.

So here we go. Please remember to be kind and also that this is about me and how I feel about me.

I believe that I am smart. I believe that I am talented when it comes to textiles and hand work. I believe that God has blessed me in that way for a reason and that I want to use it to bless other people. I love to sew for other people and help them to feel beautiful and attractive and confident regardless of their body shape or size. I think clothes have power and I have a talent with fabric and thread that can help women claim their space.

I currently believe that I sometimes don’t deserve the praise that I get because some of this comes easy for me but isn’t that ridiculous? It comes easy to me because of all of the hours I have spent practicing and working hard to develop these skills and so I need to stop hanging my head and diminishing myself. I need to stop making jokes about the books I’ve written and learn to say thank you in a confident way when people tell me how much they love the work I am doing and have done.

I have been weighing around 200 pounds for at least 20 years now. I would love to lose some of this weight but this is my current body and I will take care of it the best I can. I have felt ashamed and tried to hide my body in different ways. When I look at previous photos of myself in those oversized clothes I don’t love what I see. I do love my body in a high waisted skirt with a fitted top. That silhouette makes me feel pretty and comfortable and confident. I don’t avoid the camera anymore because I have found a style that works for me and I believe that I can help other women who may not feel confident in their body right now to find a way to dress so that they don’t feel like they have to hide.

family
all the kids

I have 4 grown children – well one is a senior in high school – but all are successful and self reliant. That is a huge accomplishment. Of course I am not a perfect mother but we all love each other and get along which is amazing and awesome. I did that along with the help of my darling who has been my stabalizer at ttimes and my voice of reason at other times and my best friend all of the time. I am proud of my family and the families that they are now growing.

I have built a thriving business before and I can certainly do it again except this time I am going to be less nervous about it. I believe in myself. And honestly, one small angry woman on the internet should not be able to take away from me the hundreds of you who are loving what I do in my business to bring joy and smiles to women through a bit of draped fabric and thread.

It has taken me 56 years to get here but I’m willing to say today that I am good. I am talented. I am successful. I am loved by God and plenty of people. I can do this with kindness and love and good will toward people.

That feels good. I feel good.

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13 thoughts on “What Do I Believe About Myself”

  1. Carol S Desrochers

    Beth, Thank you for your honesty and by sharing an encouragement to all. None of us is perfect some of what we are not happy with shows more than other things. I love that you said always choose charity! Continue on your journey with Joy! Your joy brings joy to others!

    1. First thank you sharing this! You are amazing to me! When I first meet you on the Instagram I could see that you were very talented and right away I knew that you loved sewing because you want people to feel beautiful but that’s not what I felt I felt ams saw true love and compassionate for others I believe we ate like 11 years apart and you look amazing to me but one of the this I feel from you is a love of a mother my mother died when I was 7 and my after when I was young too so one thing I am good at feeling so true love so I could right a book but I will stop here thank you so much for all you do foe others we need you out here! Continue to move forward and my prayer for you is to see your name running down the screen of a movie saying you designed the clothing that’s where you should be Hollywood. I send my love to you I hope it reaches you at the right time love Mercedes

      1. Beth

        Mercedes! I love you. I love all of the love and positivity you put out into the world. Someday soon we’re going to meet up in person and it is going to be a grand time! You are beautiful and amazing.

  2. Cynthia

    You are beautiful and loved by me. God created all of us. That woman was speaking with the voice of Satan. Tell Satan to go.
    I have felt the same lack of confidence as you. I used to teach critical care nursing classes in my job. Even though I had years of experience, I hated public speaking to a group. I felt fine teaching hands on to a small group. Students evaluated each instructor after the class. Most were positive, but that one negative evaluation was devastating. Why we focus on the negative is beyond me. I have refocused my attention on God, and since I returned to him, my episodes of depression and uncertainty are much less.
    You are beautiful, smart, kind, generous and God’s child.

  3. Mary Montgomery

    Who knows why people can be so mean like this, saying untrue things. You are beautiful inside and out and amazingly talented. You are incredibly kind. You have inspired countless others with their fiber art. You are a treasure.

  4. Sandra Christian

    We love you. Both Paula and I are staunch fans and have been since we met you at a fiber retreat here in Lebanon. Your personality and caring for others is outstanding. It is so easy to love you just as you are and I would never want you to be anything or anyone else. There are always people trying to tear one down. I think there is something missing in their life but that comes from years and years of dealing with parents of young children in a school setting. You need to keep on doing what you are doing. Would I rather you were doing fiber thing, yes. Because we would be seeing you on a regular basis. You need to filter social media and I know that is hard when running a business. Just delete those people and move on knowing that there are so many of us that love and care about you.

    1. Beth

      I miss you guys. Maybe I need a trip to Ohio!

  5. This was honest and beautiful. My favorite part is how the writing assignment begins: “I believe that I am smart. I believe that I am talented when it comes to textiles and hand work. I believe that God has blessed me in that way for a reason and that I want to use it to bless other people.” Keep going and writing beautifully!

    1. Beth

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so thankful for the lovely people I get to meet through this work.

  6. Janet in New Hampshire

    People never cease to amaze me. THAT person is “ugly and disgusting.” You are not. He/she (probably a “she” as females tend to be more vicious than males – in my experience) may even have some weight on her. You are a very attractive, accomplished and giving person. Your talents amazes me. Do not let her or anyone else take that from you. While we will never know why that comment was stated it truly is her problem.

    1. Beth

      I was wondering why someone would say things like that but then I stopped myself and felt thankful for a moment that I don’t understand. I think if I actually did understand it would mean that I was acting in such a way and finding satisfaction in it. In the end, I am actually so glad that so many of us just don’t get it.
      Thank you for your kind words.

  7. Juliette Loring

    Beth, I briefly met you at Ply 1. I was amazed, I met the talented spinner, author and couldn’t believe it. Wow. You smiled, wore a skirt with you ply T-shirt and was ready for fun! My first impression was that you were SOMEONE! You are SOMEONE that I’ve admired for your beautiful energy, powerful thoughts and quality work! As a spinning goddess, as a skirt queen, and a joyous person who is living life out loud. Yes, family, friends and community adore your spirit. So what someone spit their bile. Thousands are sending positive messages.

    1. Beth

      Thank you for that. You are so kind. One thing that came out of that whole cranky comment was I magically became more determined!

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